Caffeine Fueled Rage: Pt 2

December 13, 2010 at 5:51 pm | Posted in silliness, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Things that are not nice and that you can cut out, now.

In no particular order:

Being an asshole to me in my dreams. Seriously, wtf?

Deciding that when you come over you should randomly bring donuts, then leave the leftovers with me. You know I am going to eat them all. Stop trying to fatten me up.

Interrupting my stories every 10 seconds. It is already nearly impossible for me to hold on to a train of thought long enough to get through a story in its entirety. Intentionally leading me off course then expecting me to pick up where I left off is just cruel. (Interrupting stories you don’t care about is cool, though).

Getting mad at me when I’m late. If we have met before, you should know better than to expect anything less. Instead, just be impressed when I make it on time. Everyone will be happier.

Judging me for being pro nuclear war. I am entitled to my opinions, damnit.

Asking questions about my personal life that you can’t actually handle the answers to. I am unlikely to be coy about something. If it is too much information and is going to make you uncomfortable, don’t ask.

For that matter, you can also cut out asking any questions that you don’t want the answers to.

Hugging me without permission. 99.999999999999999% of the time a hug will be poorly received. Play it safe and let me initiate if I am interested. Just know that I probably won’t be. This goes for you too, family.

Asking me what we should do when you’ve already decided what you want to do and won’t accept any other answers. This is not only not nice, but it’s stupid and it will result in me kicking you.

Telling me that I should really learn how to drive, as if this is something that I don’t hear 600 times a day. REALLY, WOULD IT MAKE CERTAIN THINGS MORE CONVENIENT? THAT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME. (If you are ready to give me a car you are exempt from this one).

Telling me that candy is not a meal. We will just have to agree to disagree! (Same goes for cake).(And alcohol).

Forcing me to watch stupid movies if you are going to be offended that I think they’re stupid. I am more than happy to watch them with you, but I am also happy to rip them to shreds and make you listen to me do it.

 

To be continued…

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