Guh.

August 24, 2010 at 12:08 pm | Posted in Life, Polyphasic Sleep | Leave a comment

I need to start eating like a human again. Re-adapting to this sleepy thing has made me really lazy about food. Today I learned that ramen noodles, melted chocolate, a smoothie, and a latte do not a balanced diet make.

Who knew?

Anyway, in other news. Life is weird and I have all kinds of random ghosts from my past contacting me out of nowhere. It’s cool but also makes me feel a little bit like I’m in the twilight zone. Had a fun time hanging out with an old..uh..friend(?) at the beach at 2 a.m. There were rats all over the place, it was nutty.

Oh, and new sewing machine. But more on that later. (anyone want to teach me to sew?)

K, that’s all for now because I need a nap time.

P.S.- Buy me groceries.

P.P.S. – Nobutsrsly.

The Short and the Short of It

August 3, 2010 at 10:54 am | Posted in Life | 1 Comment
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Back from a ridunkulous hiatus. Finally. Lots of new and exciting disasters in my life, along with the same old same old of my usual disasters.

Probably more on that later. At the moment I want to talk a bit about an experiment that I’m about to do on myself. I’ve sort of already started, but I’m considering today a “prep day”, so not really.

Starting tomorrow I’m going to be on a polyphasic sleep cycle, meaning I’ll get my rest in short bursts throughout the day rather than in one big chunk at night. There are a few different polyphasic cycles, the most famous being the Everyman and the Uberman. I’ll be doing the Dymaxion, both because it seems more practical for day-to-day life and because it sounds cool.

My basic schedule starting today is going to consist of naps at 4 a.m., 10 a.m., 4 p.m., and 10 p.m. Each nap will be 30 minutes long. My goal is to stay on this schedule for a minimum of 2 months. From the blogs and videos I’ve seen posted by people on polyphasic cycles, the first month is pretty difficult, but by the second month you get to reap the benefits of the strict schedule.

I call today a prep day because while I wanted to take a day to help my body adjust to less sleep, I also wanted to make my schedule more flexible on the first day. I slept 2 1/2 hours to wake up at 4 am, then had a 30 minute nap at 8. My next nap came at 3 p.m and my final nap was supposed to be at 9 p.m. but I ended up taking it at 9.30 or 9.45. The nap at 3 was awesome, I fell asleep relatively quickly, dreamed a bit, and woke up feeling a bit less groggy. I was still pretty out of it, and part of my brain seemed to still be dreaming, but I was somewhat refreshed. The nap at 9 might as well have not happened. From my apartment you can hear the fireworks show they have every night at Sea World. I had barely started to drift off when they started them. Try as I might to sleep through it, it was a no-go that time. I’ve felt pretty crappy ever since.

For the past few hours I’ve been obsessively watching the clock. I do my best to keep myself occupied, but being this fatigued makes it hard for me to care much at all about any activity I’m capable of doing right now. I’m afraid a book or movie would just put me right to sleep.

I only have about 20 minutes left to wait until my next nap and I’m insanely relieved. Funny how you begin to fixate on that which you deprive yourself of.

Despite feeling tired, I’m also feeling surprisingly alert right now. I might not be at my best mentally, but no worse off than I would be after staying up too late on a normal schedule. I’ll update sometime in the next 24 hours to elaborate on my motivation, but obviously a big one is time. When you’re only taking four 30-minute naps per day, that’s an additional 6 waking hours you wouldn’t have under the monophasic schedule. Time already seems to be going by so slowly! Once my body adjusts, I’m excited to see how much I can get done in a day. I’m most enthused about crafts, but it might be nice to be slightly productive every once in a while too.

In addition to posting about the experience here, I’ll be making video logs (the word “vlog” is strictly prohibited here) over on the YouTubesss. I might occasionally post the videos here, if there are any extra strange happenings to report (I hear that blacking out during the second week is common), but otherwise you can check out my channel here.

That’s all for now, look out for sleepytime updates and pics of the vintage stuff I’ve been collecting for resale. I’ll probably be updating this thing way too much now. You’re welcome.

Dragons, Monsters, and Better Monsters

May 19, 2010 at 6:31 pm | Posted in Life, silliness | 2 Comments
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Ok, two things:

1) I have a new bearded dragon who is adorable.
2) Monster hoodies need to look like monsters.

Got it? ok.

So Just last week, I adopted a teeny tiny bearded dragon who I named Trogdor (because he’s a littleĀ burninator).

Trogdor doubles as a fashionable brooch!

He’s about a month and a half old, and he’s completely hilarious. This is the first lizard I’ve owned, and I guess I didn’t expect him to have so much personality. I got him a HUGE tank (well, huge for an itty bitty little pocket-sized dragon), which he loves, and a more appropriately sized feeding tank, which I thought I would put his crickets in and then set him loose on them. He was not having it at all. He absolutely hates the little tank. As soon as I put him in there he runs atĀ one of the walls, and starts trying desperately to climb up the wall. The hilarity of this is that, not having suction cup feet, he pretty much just ends up flailing his teeny little arms wildly against the glass to no avail. It looks a lot like he’s trying to swim. He periodically pauses his efforts to cock his head to one side and glare at me. Needless to say, I’ve had to come up with another way of feeding him the crickets.

He also loves the head pets. One of the reasons I chose him rather than either of his two brothers is how well he does with being handled. As feisty as he can be, he really likes being held, and he makes the sleepy faces when you pet his head.

Baby Frogface

And by ‘pet’ I actually mean ‘lightly stroke with the tip of one finger because he’s bite-size’.

Ok, enough about the baby, onto the monsters.

Now, I love”monster” anything. The monster mash, monster cookies, cookie monster, monster truck rallies… So when I got the new BustedTees newsletter, announcing the arrival of a new line they call MonsterHoodies, I clicked on that email with such enthusiasm as you would not believe. To my complete and utter disappointment, MonsterHoodies completely suck. It’s just a regular old hoodie with droopy teeth and stupid eyes on top. Not even googly eyes, people! I’ve seen this concept executed well, so there’s really no excuse for this lack of monstrosity:

Pathetic.

I’m disgusted at this complete disrespect and misrepresentation of monsters, so I did what anyone else would do: I opened up MS Paint, mustered up all of my outrage, and drew my own version of what a monster hoodie should be. None of this kindergarten craft lesson BS.

Skills of an artist.

Yes I’m naked under the monster hoodie. What of it?

A Cat On the Rocks With a Twist

May 11, 2010 at 12:23 am | Posted in Life | 1 Comment
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Spent an afternoon at the bay for some lunch and sunshine, and found out that the rocks here are, I kid you not, infested with cats.

Awesome.

We saw about a dozen that afternoon, and I’m sure that there are plenty more. I guess some stray had kittens there at some point and they’ve just stuck around. Seems like a pretty sweet hang out to me, and they all looked pretty content.

For some reason I was not allowed to take this one home.

I’m really tempted to take the Baby Cosmo on a field trip to see them, but something tells me the bay cats are not too interested in making friends with my behemoth of a cat-monkey-turkey-puppy hybrid. He has a bad habit of pouncing and biting new victims friends, and I don’t think they take kindly to that kind of behavior in those parts.

One of the cats was sitting by some fishermen, hanging around and waiting for scraps of food to be tossed his way. Forget Cosmo, these guys live better than I do. Waterfront property, lounging in the sun, free food, being adorable at all times. I’m totally requesting rock cat for my next life. You do get to make requests for that stuff, right?

I made this fisherman very uncomfortable.

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